Caroline: That wasn't embarrassing that was amazing..
Andy: Alright come back to my house and watch me masturbate!
Caroline: brings Andy a birthday cupcake with a candle on top it Happy birthday! Now come on, blow.
Andy: I don't really feel like doing that.
Max: Welcome to our world.
Caroline: Andy offered to pay our rent, but I said no.
Max: That is the whitest thing I've ever heard.
Caroline: It was really sweet of him, but I didn't wanna take money from a man I'm sleeping with.
Max: Wait, are you telling me there are women who don't take money from men they're sleeping with?
Andy in the house! Sorry, I was watching a living single marathon before I came over.
—Andy, And the Bear Truth
Andy: I came here to tell Caroline something kind of big.
Max: What? You have a secret family on Long Island?
Max: You have hep C? D? One of the new heps?
Andy: No. I don't have any of the heps. Wow. Now, telling her I'm in love with her is just gonna sound boring.
Max: You're gonna tell her you love her?! Here in the diner?! [...] Andy, this isn't where you tell someone "I love you," this is where you tell someone their sex change looks passable.